Disbelievers away! Yes it's true, we did actually make it successfully to "Land of 1000 smiles" (so says the airport) in one piece.

Saturday AM (too early) was spent on tubes, trains, and planes, with a brief period of airport freebie grabbing to the tune of free Baileys, free Vodka and best of all free Kitkats.

The flight passed almost without incident. The onboard film was Pirates of the Carribean two, which was deadly-dull and I understood none of. Shocks.

We had good seats with one spare to the side of us, until "Bernard" struck. Bernard was forced onto us by a poor young air hostess, Benard was MOST dissatisfied with the plane and he strongly let us know it, with rather extensive use of the word "crap". His chief complaints? His seat "didn't work", in what way was unclear. Perhaps there was a vicious steel spike in it preventing him placing his delicate derriere on it. He was also in a fury about not having a personal TV in the back of it. Nobody did. Apparently lack of that was also "crap" along with the flight not being defined long haul for some reason. Our space, both physical and psychological, was unpleasantly confined by him.

Worryingly, Kat decided Bernard was a future version of me.

So like Scrooge, perhaps I will change my ways, But I still resent paying 1.50 for a headset.

After the morning drinking, the afternoon was spent gambling. I won a free scratchcard, yay.

Then we landed, were rushed through airport guarded by severe people with guns, and onto welcome drink, dinner and so on. There was genuinely a sense of murder mystery to it. Characters emerged, not least that of "Mr MP" who immediately suggested a game of keys on the table to determine our swinger combinations for the night. Luckily her was refused the privilege to continue up that avenue so to speak so instead attempted to refuse to pay for his visa. As somebody else started moaning loudly about how they had a dodgy cabin - before any of us had a remote chance to SEE a cabin - we truly felt proud to be British.