Boris the Mayor, and foul-mouthed George

Londoners, you're blessed.

It looks pretty like you're about to witness a Ken vs Boris battle to be mayor of your sweet little town. Certainly Boris Johnson is standing to be the Conservative candidate. So did about another 50 people (now narrowed down to a shortlist of 4) but today the Telegraph has published parts of Boris' job application form and, looking at it, the Poorhouse feels it is somewhat unbeatable.

Firstly, he took the rather unconventional step of scrawling the details in half unreadable spider-writing. Secondly, the content of said document is, some would say, rather flippant in tone. The highlight has got to be the ever-awkward job app question "Please give 3 examples of challenges you have faced and the outcome". Check it:

In case the scrawl is just too unreadable, here's what he wrote, translated into legibility.

1. Trying to help raise 4 children in inner London. Outcome too early to call, but looking promising.
2. Taking on Blair and Campbell in the battle of Black Rod's Memorandum on the Queen Mother's lying-in-state. Outcome: Total victory.
3. Negotiating Hyde Park Corner by bicycle. Outcome: survival.

The Poorhouse is however rather perturbed that BJ seemingly left "Personal Character" section of the form blank. Admittedly it does ask about any incidents that might cause "embarrassment if they were disclosed subsequent to your selection", but for a guy famed for repeatedly needing to apologise to cities and indeed whole countries, not t to mention having been sacked from the front bench for lying about his affair with Lord Wyatt's daughter it either means that he is lying, or that there is at this point no more hilarious blonde-haired buffoon revelations to be heard from him.

Says the Telegraph, "It is understood that the rival candidates, Andrew Boff, Victoria Borwick and Warwick Lightfoot, submitted more conventional applications."

Bonus section

Boris is not the only politician deserving a gold star over the past couple of weeks.

As noted by Flyingrodent, George "I do disturbing impressions of cats" Galloway has performed another political first. Nope, nothing to do with dodgy charity dealings or bringing down the evil neo-cons in America; rather he managed to utter the phrase (pardon my French in advance) "Spunk-Loving Sluts" during a debate in the House of Commons. Awesome. See column 611 of the Hansard for 23rd July 2007 for the evidence.

If anyone was watching it live (why would you?) then the Poorhouse would like to know exactly how many MPs giggled at the time.


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