Weird stuff

Smelly landing

Who wants another story of how post 9/11 plane travel and being the dullest tool in the box don't really go together? Why of course! Passengers on American Airlines flight 1053 from Washington to Dallas got a scare a couple of weeks ago. Partway through their flight a strong smell of sulphur appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Worried about this they reported it to the plane staff who told the pilot.

The pilot radioed it in and decided that it was not safe to continue the journey. A quick diversion to Nashville, Tennessee was made resulting in an emergency landing.

Santa takes up facism

The extreme right?The extreme right?Day two of the Christmas special of unnecessary upset: after having a bit of a giggle at trees shaped like genetalia, it's time to move on to less obvious material - the politics of Santa Claus.

Modern-day capitalist-style Christmas is patently associated with what can most charitably described as "tack". The Rossmann chain of shops in Germany joined in the exploitative fun by selling no doubt overpriced objects d'art such as model snowmen, furry reindeers and little Santa Clauses.

Bum trouble

The UK celebration of the defeat-of-freedom-fighters festival (sort of) known as Guy Fawkes Day has been and gone. With it of course comes plenty of fireworks action. And with that of course comes plenty of horrific injuries - [1], [2], [3], [4] and [5] are just a few examples.

However, the award for the best injury of the day is at present, narrowly missed out on by a blown-up partridge, is awarded to a 22-year old man who managed to incur the wrath of the firework gods to the extent he suffered from a scorched colon.

Save yourself

Poor volunteer paramedic Roger Flux fell into bed with agonising chest pains. Sensibly, understanding the potential risk of heart attacks, his wife called 999 right away. Hampshire's Ambulance Service rushed to aid him.

Imagine his annoyance when throughout the painful spasms, his work pager went off. Dedicated to the last he (or his wife) read the message. It was an emergency callout to attend an address very familiar to Roger; namely his own home. Apparently, a patient there was suffering chest pains.

I can't come into work because...

We all know that, on the whole, employment sucks. Who wants to spend 50+ years doing some tedious set of tasks to grind the wheels of capitalism? Well it doesn't really matter what you think, because most often if you want to stay alive and well you're going to have to. Boo.

It is therefore of little surprise that much time is taken up dwelling on methods of getting out of a few days work without encountering the termination of ones employment. There are no doubt many classic tales, but James Snyder and Mary Jensen went further than most.

Buy your own allergy free cat

Cat: made for youCat: made for youCats are kind of nice, cuddly, friendly things most of the time, but many people suffer intentionless-harm from them. Somewhere around 2% of the population (in the US anyway) reportedly suffer from some sort of cat allergy. For anyone wanting non-Loreal style science, it is because cats have a protein allergen called Fel d 1 which appears like an evil air-borne monster via their sebaceous glands.

Toilet bomb

What is it about iPods and toilets? This site has previously documented a connection via peripherals, but now brace yourself now for a story that involves iPods, toilets and everyone's favourite bogeymen - potential terrorists.

Last month, on a flight from United aeroplane flight from Chicago to Ottawa, everyone's worst nightmare happened. The toilet got blocked. The stewardesses called out in panic "There's something in the toilet that's preventing it from flushing. Run some water!". That last desperate attempt didn't work, so she stuck her face and hands into the bucket of people-filth for a more manual attempt. It failed.

Free, royal and transforming goats

Back for moreBack for moreToday is the 10-day anniversary of our potentially ongoing series of goat news, so what better way to celebrate than by offering the chance to win a goat? Not that the Poorhouse has one, and moreover actually it's too late. Nonetheless had you been a) a bit earlier, and probably b) a bit better at rugby, you could have joined Scottish "stars" Chris Paterson and Marcus Di Rollo at a charitable rugby tournament - first prize being a herd of goats.

The Scots aren't the only ones to fancy a bit of goat. Last month saw the coronation of King Louis. Now, it's not what you're thinking, the French Sun King has not been reborn 300-odd years after saying his final goodbyes. Rather, Louis is a wild mountain boy-goat from Ireland's highest mountain, Carrauntoohill. As part of the Puck Fair (we said 'Puck' - although to be fair the festival is thought to have "fertility" connotations) a goat is regularly crowned as being the King of Ireland.

Do cows have regional accents?

Last month, a cow-related story swept the media-waves. It was reported that not only are the formerly-regarded human traits of lesbianism and grudge-holding potentially rife in our bovine friends, but moreover they also have regional accents.

Lloyd Green, a Glastonbury farmer, came to the fore saying "I spend a lot of time with my ones and they definitely moo with a Somerset drawl.". The mind boggles. In his view it is all down to that special relationship between owner and future hamburger - "The closer a farmer's bond is with his animals, the easier it is for them to pick up his accent.". But all is not necessarily as it seems.

Goats are even better

Me again!Me again!Yes readers, thanks to our latest addition, we now present to you the second part of this week's Goat news. Here, again, we see the level of dear love that the world has for these creatures, wholly unrealised by the Poorhouse until this point.

Let's start with drunkenness. Alcohol mixed with goats is a dangerous game. So found Carl Myles, age should-know-better 20 who got drunk. The alcohol inebriation exerted its typical symptoms of lowering his inhibitions. Oh dear.

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