Weird stuff

Goats are good

In a week tediously dominated (according to UK mass media) by the largely pointless childish squabbling of our political rulers in the (New) Labour party as to who is the biggest bestest tyrant of all, it was with great pleasure that the Poorhouse received some breaking goat news.

The species has famously been applauded for its firm, if over-violent, way of dealing with menacing trolls. It seems they have yet more virtuous talents, namely maintaining speed limits in the dangerous world of automobile driving.

Cheese sandwiches not great for diets

Weight-loss diets and normal modern-day living really don't exist in a happy mix. What common sense may suggest is a good wholesome food is not quite what reality, or even the Weightwatchers diet, might say.

One extra special example of these is the opposite-of-famous ASDA cheese and tomato sandwich. Whoo. What harm could it do, a slice of bread or two, a smattering of dairy produce and some humble vegetables (sorry, fruit). The Poorhouse will tell you exactly what harm: 16 and a half points of mother-lumping harm.

Torturing Saddam

For anyone who's been wondering what's happened to Saddam Hussein, ex-dictator, torturer and all round evil-doer of Iraq, since he was purportedly captured, here's your answer.

He's been watching cartoons.

Speciality of the day

Dish of the day: I'll take twoDish of the day: I'll take twoWho doesn't like Chinese food? Especially with the rise of the British £4.99 All You Can Eat Buffet - admittedly one has to question it's authenticity, but it's cheap, filling and not beans on toast.

There are probably limits to the average citizen-of-the-world's preferences though. One Beijing restaurant that possibly shouldn't start a chain in the UK is Guo-li-zhuang. Why? It has been described as a "speciality restaurant". It is situated in a beautifully restored house alongside a lake, and the owner has seen fit to name it after his family.

To determine its particular raison d'être, take a look at the illustration to the right, and see if you can guess the name of the dish.

Kitty fiddling

Adverts are generally nothing but mind polluting annoyances, but on occasion one that just defies all sense of good taste is hilariously dreadful enough to be worth standing in front of gazing open-mouthed at.

So what do we imagine the image to the right is an advert for? Guesses ranging from slightly extreme safety warnings for children not to talk to strangers to a further encroachment of the politco-racist BNP's "foreigners are mostly paedophiles" campaign we saw a while ago would both be reasonable answers.

Danger: potato alert

A new food scare is about to hit our shores, possibly called DEP*. So far the story has largely been hushed up by the media, with the brave exception of such Reuters-rerun papers as The Scotsman.

Last Friday, whilst workers were doing their stuff to vegetables at the McCain Foods factory in Scarborough, one keen-eyed potato polisher noticed a bomb shell tip in amongst the produce. Sensibly, the police were called and the bomb squad set up a perimeter 100-meter perimeter for safety and dealt with it expertly. Dramatic yes, but a happy ending...or was it?

Eat dirt

Most seven year olds probably shove something inappropriate into their mouths now and then. It therefore doesn't seem that surprising that the pictured woman once ate a bit of muddy grass in her youth.

What is a tad more unusual is that since then, spanning 11 years and 3 tonnes of mud, she has willingly feasted on all the finest dirt that money can't buy. She's still actually mad keen on it. Things have changed though. Her new favourite tasty treat is yellow mud. In her words, it's "quite tasty".

Unfortunately this happens to be the exact same material that her neighbour's roof is made from. You guessed it, this woman reportedly can't be dissuaded from eating her neighbour's house.

Having no money is not a barrier to freeing guniea pigs or desecrating graves

A militant guniea pig lovers club apparently seem to have scammed loads of money for their activities somehow involving desecrating a grave - obviously linked somehow.
This article ->
from the usually fairly reliable not too ridiculous does not include pictures of women's boobs Times offers no assistance whatsoever it would seem.

It does offer a few suggestions towards funding such activity if your marching outrage behaviour ever spirals a litle further out of control though. Go free some guinea pigs adam go on i dare you.

Doctor, Doctor I've got a banging headache.....

An unidentified Oregon man just couldn't work out why he had such bad headaches. He sensibly went to the doctor. The doctor was baffled, until an x-ray revealed 12 nails embedded in his skull!

The nails were not visible when doctors first examined the man in the emergency room of an unidentified Oregon hospital. Imagine their surprise when X-rays revealed six nails clustered between his right eye and ear, two below his right ear and four on the left side of his head. The nails came close to major blood vessels and the brain stem but did not pierce them. They were removed at Oregon Health & Science University in Portland with needle-nosed pliers and a drill. The man survived with no serious lasting effects.

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