John Prescott now for hire

You may vaguely remember John Prescott, the ex-Deputy Prime Minister, more famous for having two jags, two shags, a game of croquet and a punch-up with a farmer than anything political really.

But now he's (probably?) winding down his career as a politico anyway, he's been signed up to join the Great and the Good at the JLA Index agency - providers of speakers et al. for your after dinner parties, corporate events and so on. He's even headlining their front page at present. Care to guess the price of a smattering of Prescott wordage should you want him for your next candlelit supper?

First let's have a brief review. Prescott is of course the guy who had the following to say regarding The War Against Terror during one of his finest parliamentary speeches

The objectives remain the same and indeed that has been made clear by the Prime Minister in a speech yesterday that the objectives are clear and the one about the removal of the Taliban is not something we have as a clear objective to implement but it is possible a consequence that will flow from the Taliban clearly giving protection to Bin Laden and the UN resolution made it absolutely clear that anyone that finds them in that position declares themselves an enemy and that clearly is a matter for these objectives

as reported - and not in a good way - in issue 51 of "Plain English - the magazine of the Plain English Campaign".

Prior to that he had already had the honour of winning the "Gobbledygook" prize for a report that his Governmental department wrote.

In the application by virtue of this paragraph of subparagraphs (4) and (6) to (10) of paragraph 3 to an application or proposed variation. (a) The notice served under sub-paragraph (2) of this paragraph shall be treated as the notification required by sub-paragraph (4) (a) of paragraph 3. (b)

The reference in sub-paragraph (6) of paragraph 3 to the day on which the notification under sub-paragraph (4) (a) of paragraph 3 is made shall be treated as reference to the day on which the notice served under sub-paragraph (2) of this paragraph is given.

The above aside, according to JLA he's a category A speaker would you believe. This gives him a payment-per-speech value of between £10,000 and £25,000. Worse yet, the New Statesman reports that the higher amount is the actual fee.

The Poorhouse is fairly amazed by this. During his stint as the second-in-command of Britain one imagined that the rest of his party would have preferred to pay him £25,000 just not to speak at times.

For anyone thinking of arranging some sort of event that the Poorhouse might be attending, please bear in mind that for the price of one John Prescott speech, JLA will actually arrange for the whole Royal Philharmonic Concert Orchestra to come play your every musical request. Bargains.

To steal the "moment of zen" idea from The Daily Show, here , to finish, is Prescott's punch in all its Youtube glory:


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