Welcome to the Poorhouse - a pointless bloggy site with news, views and opinion on stuff.

Tory boy confesses crimes publically...or does he?

All this web 2.0 blogging your life in public has its downers. People are forever getting arrested for confessing to crimes via their myspace pages. They don't seem to understand that what you write in public is there...perhaps forever. This is a problem that has afflicted Wales' very own Tory Boy, Chris Chapman, the youngest person to have ever been a councillor in Wales, now just 19.

He is very down with the kids, so the Poorhouse bets Cameron et al. just love him. Listen to these inspiring (if somewhat sickeningly untrue) words:

The more I read, the more I was drawn to the principles of the Conservative Party - freedom of enterprise, freedom of choice, and freedom of opportunity for all members of society, regardless of their background.

Sadly, for the Conservatives, that's not all he's been saying. And yes, the word "myspace" made the House of Commons.

Shock change of direction for David Cameron

Spot the differenceSpot the differenceIn these days of supposed post-ideology, end-of-history, post-modernism and other such jibberish nihilistically contemporary sounding phrases, it is perhaps not surprisingly that David Cameron, leader of the UK conservative party and vlogger-extraordinaire, doesn't know his left from his right. But last week the possibility came to light that it wasn't just politically speaking that he was directionally challenged by.

The BBC, as ever sticking rigidly to its charter to sustain citizenship, promote education and stimulate cultural excellence reported last week at length the hair-raising news that Davey-boy had change the alignment...having now started to part his hair on the left as opposed to the right. Shock!

Spitting is art

Conflicting messages emanate from the wonderous web at times. We hear from askmen.com that really it is somewhat less than gentlemanly to spit and should you do so in public you will "look like you were raised in a sewer". But then one presumed sewer-rat named Albert Reyes has turned spitting - nay, let us go so far as to say public spitting - into a literal artform.

Fun with binary

Uber - and I mean uber - geeks, there is another attractively nerd-ridden game out there for you. Get onto Cisco's Binary Game. It even includes a suitably hi-tech-stuff-happening-in-lame-film-type soundtrack.

Kind of like a geek form of one of the gazillion Tetris type games out there the deal is that a screen including 1s and 0s as per binary notation appears alongside a box for the equivalent decimal form of the number. Should the decimal number be filled in you should immediately turn the 1s and 0s on and off until you formed the binary equivalent. If however the box is empty, you need to convert the binary to decimal and enter it into the box. Quickly - because take too long and the rows of problems to solve will increase until the screen is overfilled with the horrors of binary notation.

And remember kiddies...there are only 10 types of people in the world etc. etc. The Poorhouse is ashamed to find this game addictive.

Participating in Red Nose Day could get you sent to prison

This coming Friday is the regular donate-a-thon and TV hog known as Red Nose Day. By buying the paraphernalia, doing silly things to raise money and pledging money and so on you can donate to help people who really need your spare change more than you probably do.

But be careful where you participate from. Despite this being a wonderously effective way of raising the moolah for the needy, Bloggerheads have noticed that since the introduction of the Serious Organised Crime and Police Act 2005 you are in proper danger of breaking the law should you decide to join in - even if it's just by wearing a red nose. You may be punished with a £1000 fine, or should actually be involved in organising a related event you're up for £2500 or 51 weeks imprisonment.

Fixing Windows Mobile task and event reminders

As part of the general trend of human-to-machine intelligence outsourcing, the Poorhouse likes to take note of its ever-more failing memory and delegate tasks such as knowing what to do on an average day to PDA-esque technology. With even the most basic of mobile phones now having enough diary features to plan a space mission this generally works well. A day without 1000 reminders to "Get out of bed", "Have a shower", "Tie up shoelaces" and so on is probably a day wasted.

All goes well until the PDA/phone/whatever breaks. Unfortunately the Poorhouse's current smartphone which runs Windows Mobile 5 did break a bit - although quite subtly. Whilst you could still input appointments, tasks et al. it would always fail to actually remind you to do them. Wonderful.

The grey trapezoid liveth

The Poorhouse, scared of appearing too much of a stereotypically masculine he-man, decided to take up a nice new hobby a few days ago more normally associated with strange old women. A practical and creative guru (who may remain anonymous unless they want to out themselves) introduced him into the world of...

KNITTING.

Diagram of death

Despite the way we all sort-of live in the future (except we don't drive spaceships yet as a matter of course for some reason) science hasn't solved the inevitability of death yet - but we don't all die of the same thing.

In case you wanted to check out the likely possibilities of what you and your friends will die of then the US National Safety Council has produced a diagram and accompanying numeral-filled table of a selection of relatively common ones. The diagram is a bunch of circles whose area presumably reflects the relative odds of expiring via that method. Of course the information is only especially relevant if you're Mr or Mrs Average American citizen born in 2003, but the Poorhouse was interested to see it nonetheless.

Rapid fire lying

Speed-daters and their ilk beware. Humans are compulsive liars when meeting each other, especially if they don't know each other at first. Furthermore, contrary to possible intuition both men and women are no strangers to the falsehood spreading, seemingly lying fairly comparably in frequency. The difference is men lie more about how amazing they are, what they've done and so on whereas women do it to make other people feel better, bless them. It may be true that a woman has never answered "Does my bum look big in this?" with the killer phrase "Yes".

And how do we know this? Well, from Feldman et al.'s study "Self-Presentation and Verbal Deception: Do Self-Presenters Lie More?" amongst other sources, such as MTV reality shows no doubt.

Suspect sausages

A SPICY sausage known as the Welsh Dragon will have to be renamed after trading standards' officers warned manufacturers that they could face prosecution because...

...wait for it...

...it does not contain dragon.

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