Welcome to the Poorhouse - a pointless bloggy site with news, views and opinion on stuff.

Ways to sell your "body-enhancing" pharmaceutical delights

Spam, spam, glorious spam - the Poorhouse is privileged to receive hundreds of "amazing offers" in his email every day. They tend to correspond to one of just a handful of themes, such as gambling, pharmaceuticals and, of course, what could at its most euphemistic be called "bodily enhancement".

Some might say this is quite annoying, but hey, some of the phraseology these elite sales-people use is funny enough to make up for at least 1% of the annoyance of dealing with said spam. Read on for some highlights...ummm...adults only though please, and slightly NSFW, in a textual way. They are largely along the lines of knob gags.

Reporting on drugs impairs mental performance

Researching the mental effects of chemicals on humans is notoriously difficult and complicated, not least because of the immense amount of ways that a certain person may react to any given substance, the huge number of external factors that may be involved in a psychological outcome, and the difficulty in quantifiably measuring many mental effects. Add to this the sometimes extreme politicisation and bias of results that comes when researching controversial topics like the use of illegal drugs and one can see that researching the mental effects of banned-but-fun substances is especially troublesome.

This trouble is often seen in mass-media reports of such experiments. Often, presumably in order to make the "news" exciting and dramatic for their readers the "shock horror - you will die if you even look at illegal drugs" conclusions are heightened to the max, and any opposing conclusions, grey areas and other interpretations of the same data are ignored. Not only does this undermine any sensible attempt at presenting results with potentially important public health conclusions to the public at large, but research suggests that it could be this very style of reporting that causes some of the mental problems it shouts about so loudly.

The offensive ho

In the eyes of the Poorhouse, on many occasions the cry of "political correctness has gone mad" is apparently used to prefix some overt racist / sexist / homophobic or other similar statement. Now and then however a silly example does pop up showing some probably well-meaning idiot's attempt to remove offence where none was likely to be taken anyway.

For example, there's the current regulations for Santas (oops, yes kiddies, there is actually more than one Santa! But don't worry, they all love you very much) in Sydney. It seems that the traditional "ho ho ho" Father Christmas greeting is in danger of cultural removal, because it is in danger of being offensive to hos women who like to make money without even getting out of bed.

600lbs of men and a plump scotch wife go hungry

It's not nice to laugh at people, especially people who for once are standing up to the evil corporations who constantly try and change things to suit, even more, their own selfish gains as opposed to us mere citizen consumers' interests. Nonetheless, the (NSFW) audio on the following complaint-call vid - regarding the international catastrophe that was the inopportune eradication of the 16oz Jimmy Dean Sausage - did tickle the Poorhouse's funny-bone a whole lot. Especially the bit where he forgets to hang up the phone at the end.


St Pancras: day 1

Look at that - 2 posts in 2 days. It seems the Poorhouse hasn't died after all. Many apologies to the hoards of eager fans (well, one person mentioned it in passing, to be more accurate) who clamoured for more, more, more pointless nonsense.

A couple of weeks back, the Poorhouse had the inadvertent "pleasure" of travelling on a train on the first day of the St Pancras, London railway station redevelopment with its Eurostar links being open for business. With that thrilling build-up, you might expect a dramatic story of said events from the Poorhouse to feature here. However, in what can only be described as luck for the lazy, the media was out in force - and the Sheffield Telegraph reporter Carolyn Waudby was on the exact same train would you believe - so we'll steal bits from her article.

An easy way to make the content of one combobox in Excel dependent on that of another

Comboboxes, aka dropdown boxes, are useful tools for constructing e-forms, restricting idiot-user responses to limited-choice fields and soon. Microsoft Excel has many a way of allowing you to create these, whether this be via the Forms toolbar, Control Toolbox toolbar or the Data -> Validation menu option.

One especially useful feature of such choice-enabling controls is that of making the choices in one box dependent on what the user chose in another. For instance, if a user chose "animals" in box 1, the other could allow "fox", "badger" and "pig" as options, but if they chose "vegetables" in box 1, the other box could only allow "carrots", "cauliflowers" and "cabbages" as choices.

Physical spam

The Poorhouse is constantly disappointed by only receiving a few hundred emails a day offering either "enlargo" or better yet some intricately complex - yet plausible - offer to give him a billion pounds in return for ooh, a mere few hundred of them or so. In advance. Yes, the money hasn't come through yet, but it's only a matter of a few more sendings of identity and moderately large sums of money to Nigeria away I'm sure.

Luckily, the physical doormat was also crammed with spam the other day - the finest of which is portrayed below.

The original 24 - and the discontent of a thwomp

Happy weekend from the Poorhouse. Not much of note has hit the Poorhouse's stream of consciousness in recent times so instead here's a couple of geek-funny vids to watch.

Firstly, who doesn't love the oh-so-realistic techno/terrorism battle that is any given series of 24? Well, little did you know it was first produced in 1994 - and here's the pilot to prove it.

Negativity surrounds new scratchcard

The Poorhouse is no stranger to the odd flutter, laying down bets a plenty around the place and more recently playing a decent amount of casino blackjack - however, that's fine when you can use mathematics to guarantee a profit. Scams such as the UK National Lottery are held in much lower regard - there being a reason why it is often termed "a tax on the stupid".

Some, it might seem, more stupid than you might even expect.

The legitimisation of workplace naps

The Poorhouse is no stranger to the sneaky afternoon (or morning for that matter) nap at work, but has always felt that that is one of the many, many features rendering him unemployable for anything that could be described as high status and even somewhat deserving of the odd berating. Perhaps this was a mistaken assumption.

That bastion of society, the judge, apparently has a fair enough chance of being allowed to snooze in the workplace. The precedent was perhaps set with an Australian Judge Ian Dodd who was the sentencing judge in a drugs case, where the two defendants were sentenced to 13 and 10 years respectively, whose attentive nature was somewhat akin to the Poorhouse's workplace demeanour after "two pint Tuesday".

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