Welcome to the Poorhouse - a pointless bloggy site with news, views and opinion on stuff.

Hamshahri hijinks - making the world a more dangerous place

Tom and Jerry never went this farTom and Jerry never went this farEarlier this month, a Danish paper called Jyllands-Posten printed some cartoons depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammad in a number of "satirical" scenes, including some clearly showing him as a terrorist. Portrayal of Muhammed in this way is not only distasteful, insensitive and downright foolish given the current state of the world, but is regarded by many as direct contravention of the Islamic religion.

Since then pretty much everyone must be aware that there have been many, many protests, riots and worse throughout the world. This included an unacceptably offensive one here in Britain where a handful of protesters called for the beheading of unbelievers and a repeat terrorist attack on Britain amongst other niceties. Contrary to popularly-ignorant non-Islamic opinion though, this offensive protest was essentially tiny and apparently involved some extremist groups already outlawed by the Government. A larger, peaceful demonstration against both the publication of the cartoons and the violence they inspired has subsequently taken place in the UK. Unfortunately a relatively tiny minority of violent extremists through the world are still causing death and destruction over the cartoons; they must be immediately apprehended and removed from being a danger to society.

Griddled to perfection

Want to replicate your finest-but-complexist tabular data on the web? You'll no doubt want a grid provide visual clarity. Seeing as it's the year 2010(ish) of course CSS is the way to go. But when the Poorhouse wanted such an effect, it wasn't quite so obvious how to achieve. In an effort to spare the highs and lows of the technique for other amateur web-kidz, here's how we did it.

Assuming you don't want all your tables to look like grids, you'll want to work on a new class of <table>, called perhaps, pick word at random, "grid". Each cell aka <td> of the table wants to be entirely surrounded by borders to give the impression of individual rectangles. Let's use the power of CSS inheritance to make it so:

Elephant rage

You know what they say about having big feetHumans beware! The elephant population has finally had enough of the abuse that us humans see fit to unleash upon them and are getting slightly grumpy.

Apparently, despite the fact that overcrowding is down and suitable food supplies are up throughout Africa, an increasing amount of elephant aggression is occurring against us helpless humans. Why might this be? Well, the Poorhouse is no pachyderm psychologist, but last week's New Scientist reports a number of theories.

One such theory is that, understandably, after decades (or more) of seeing humans slaughter their parents for sport (or to break bits of their dead corpses up to sell to foreigners at an extortionate price) they have suffered some form of mental breakdown and become fixated on revenge.


An inevitable bad-pun headline for a friendly little Flash game courtesy of Winterrowd "Solutions" (solutions to what is unknown at this stage). Do you have a steady mouse hand and the quiet concentration needed to breach "THE MAZE" (attached)? Just four quick little levels.

After you've played your way through, go visit their blog to see how you did compared to others.

Beard artistry

Artist at workArtist at workWhat does true entrepreneurship look like? Well, here's an example.

German ex-rock-concert-promoter Marco Figgen, moved to Thailand in search of spiritual fulfilment only to "accidentally" lose all his money. Dazed, confused and possibly not (just like The Poorhouse) not au-fait with the Thai welfare system, he had the only possible logical thought in the situation. Whilst counting his blessings, he noticed her had a wholly-impracticable lengthy beard amongst his resources. The next obvious step was to invest in some paint (not oil based - turpentine doesn't help beard strength out at all) and become the world's only known beard artist. Cruelly described by the international news agencies as "hardly Van Gogh" he makes his living using his unusually lengthy facial hair to make these pictures priced at 8000 baht upwards and is currently exhibited at the JND Gallery in the Soi Day & Night in South Pattaya

Sudoku love

Valentine SudokuValentine SudokuSorry it's late, but here's a Valentines day treat courtsey of the Astraware Sudoku of the Day site. 8 beautiful Sudokus to give to a loved one, or perhaps you could solve them together in an aura of love-flled bliss. The art of romance is clearly not dead. For the more electronically enabled amongst us, Astraware's Sudoku game for PDAs is a worthy purchase.

But you can love Sudoku too much. It has been reported by the Wall Street Journal that British Airways have had to issue a memo to their 13000 cabin crew staff to instruct them that it is forbidden for them to play Sudoku (and related puzzles) during takeoff and landing.

Racist weapons

This is not new news, but that doesn't make it worth ignoring. Some of the most powerful people in the world apparently think committing genocide is just too arduous at present; but perhaps they can make it easier in the future?

Although under-reported in the mainstream, many people may be aware of a think-tank called the Project for a New American Century (PNAC). In their words, their fundamental tenets are such that "American leadership is good both for America and for the world; and that such leadership requires military strength, diplomatic energy and commitment to moral principle."

Get a free CD or DVD

Sign up here before 21st February 2006 to get a free CD/DVD voucher worth £8.75 courtesy of some cosy bunkup between CD Wow and Timeout.

The musical POWAKADDY

Someone over at eBay (one favourite work skive site - if you don't mind making a financial loss each day) - clearly trying to sabotage their own sale was kind enough to include a delightful ebay-themed song as part of the advert.

It seems a "classic" Backstreet Boys has been usurped by Weird Al Yankovic to produce a song which simply by virtue of its mention of Mr William Shatner is clearly above the parapets of averageness.

Seeing as the listing will no doubt be deleted sometime soon (although I am pleased to report it was successful - everyone except one person in the world has missed out on the opportunity to buy a POWAKADDY for just £120) a Flash version is attached...all being well.

Welcome to The Poorhouse

Nothing much to see here for now. Unless by some weird chance you wanna see what films are on in Sheffield at present that is.

Eagle eyed readers will have noticed that the site is now content-managed via Drupal. Yes, possible the sheer greatness of the system isn't needed for this one-page wonder, but consider it a (slow) test for future great things in the real world.

Coming soon...? Lots of other wonderful things.

In the mean time, we are proud to host suki-desu for all your notepad-written web entertainment. No technology left "unexplored". Warning: the soundtrack (but only the soundtrack) to some of the pages might be regarded NSFW.

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