Penguins, those birds so innately classy they lend their name to fancy clothing normally worn only at ambassador's parties and wannabe-impressive drunken corporate events, are apparently in reality no better than the rest of us. Despite the common sense being that humans are the only creatures to enjoy sexual frolicking (aside from dolphins, certain monkeys, and maybe some pigs some would have, but there is a limit to the search phrases the Poorhouse is willing to type into Google on this topic), it seems sex is so hot in the penguin world that the world's oldest profession - delicately referred to by some as "whoring" - works wonders there too.

Yes, "Antarctic dolly-birds are turning tricks to get rocks off their menfolk" reports the BBC.

Research from Dr Hunter, from the intellectual bastion of Cambridge University, has been watching birds shagging. The reason she earns a shroud of respectability that others who regularly enjoy that sort of activity are denied is that her work probably got published, and involved penguins.

It works like this:

Shiny they may not be, but Adelie penguins are pretty damn interested in stones, of all things. Apparently they're handy for making nests for Pingu-eggs. However, when stones supplies are low, well, needs must. So much so that even female penguins in a long-term commited relationship (yes, apparently they tend to pair off, even when not in a cartoon) sneak off behind their partner's back to...umm..."collect stones". And sure enough they do return with stones, but not a word is said on exactly how they were found.

The female penguin approaches a single male penguin - not wanting a handbag around the face from a jealous partner presumably - and starts giving him the eye, which in penguin terms involves a bit of bashful head bowing. Should he be up for it - and which red(?)-blooded male wouldn't be - they get to the XXX action. When "satisfaction" occurs, the bloke hands over some hard currency (stones), and off pops the woman bird back to her poor, ignorant, husband to feather the nest.

Actually just like the human kind, some of women penguins are a little sneaky. Check out these little gold-digging cock(*)-teasers:

On some occasions the prostitute penguins trick the males. They carry out the elaborate courtship ritual, which usually leads to mating.

Having bagged their stone, they would then run off.

*: cock used here exclusively in reference to the name of the male of the bird species of course (maybe).

All credit for in-depth animal sex research goes to our Kat, ta for the tip-off.