It's only been half a year or so since the end of the great grape experiment and the "flurry" of reader demand that led an investigation into future experimental possibilities from yours truly. The Poorhouse is therefore most proud to announce the commencement of an investigation. Best of all, this one involves bodily fluids.

Back to pretending to be Mythbusters then. Rumour has it that eating beetroot will turn your wee purple. But is it true - or more conspiratorial lies? Well, with help from the Poorhouse you no longer need to stop tossing and turning all night with your mind restless and agitated with such mysteries. Nor do you need to look it up, or eat one yourself. The answer lies below.

The experiment started with a not exactly frantic but at least somewhat active search for:

• Beetrooty things
• Urine sample containers

Of course with the magic of teh interwebs it was not exactly hard to acquire such items. However, as a little tip for anyone looking to replicate these results, rather than trying to pursue the sample containers from a laboratory supplies company or ebay, both of which assume you want a good 500 tubes minimum, the Poorhouse found more success with companies selling things for geocaching.

"What's that?", the Poorhouse hears you half-heartedly asking. Well, would you believe, apparently it's some sort of fun game where you hide things somewhere and give someone else the GPS co-ordinates to it so they can go find it. Live and learn. Luckily it seems they sometimes hide things that fit in small clear plastic tubes. Let's hope not generally the same treasure that they got filled with during the course of this experiment.

On with it. The first step was to take a urine colouration reading (UCR) at point t0, prior to the ingestion of any of our experimental chemical Beta vulgaris, or as you ignorant lay-readers may know it, the common or garden beetroot. Our test subject (don't ask) was instructed to, as cleanly as possible, piss in a pot. The contents when then immediatelyish photographed against a light background for clarity. Move your eyes right and see what we got.

Time index: 13:58.

Then the arduous stamina required by any hardcore sciencey investigator needed to come into play. Some beetroot needed to be eaten, big time. Luckily beetroot is a not too unpleasant substance to ingest in moderation. Unluckily, moderation had no part in this experiment.

First up was a lovely pack of "beetroot salad". It was slightly out of date but nonetheless had great purple vibrancy and a convincing beetroot taste to it. Mmmm. So far so good.

Time index: 14:00.

Man cannot survive on salad alone, so more purpleoid food was needed. What better than a beautiful beetroot sandwich on stale but home-cooked bread? This was no student sandwich. This was the work of a researcher.

Time index: 14:23.

Having not skimped on the sandwich-filler, we had already probably reached an above average amount of beetroot for a day so far. That, plus the minimisation of other calorific things passing through the mouth meant it was time for a well earned rest break. An hour and a bit passed....and then so did some water.

Time index: 15:43.

Unimpressive huh? Some combination of lack of sufficient beet intake, impatience, metabolism or the theory being lies meant that the urine, whilst slightly darker, was in no way unusual, red or in any other way worth publishing on a website. That has never stopped the Poorhouse in the past though. Nonetheless, more beetroot was clearly needed.

So that's what happened. Specifically, a nice pack of "traditional cooked beetroot". As you can see from the label, 1 of the 5-a-day vegetables we're advised to eat is made up from just 2 of these dark spheres. With the amount of beet-eating going on here, the Poorhouse (sorry, "test subject") clearly was going to be fighting fit for the rest of his life. Except later, a revelation came from a trusted advisor that each of your 5-a-day has to be a different type of food. Having no intention of eating anything except beetroot for that day at least this meant accepting a level of potential malnutrition. Still, Isaac Newton probably didn't enjoy getting hit on the head with an apple per se, but it was worth it to discover gravity. Down they went.

Time index: 15:49.

At this point, although it may not seem a lot, beetroot was becoming a little hard to stomach. Getting a family sized portion of big fat vinegary beets down the throat was not exactly an appetising prospect. Worse yet, all the beetroot so far had been in some way pickled or vinegary, which, the Poorhouse guesses, caused a slight unsettlement in the stomach. Nothing painful, just a tad irritating. Oh how subject X longed for - but resisted - a nice chocolate digestive.

Hours passed. Wee was not forthcoming, probably for the same sort of reason that a watched pot does not boil. However, eventually the flood gates opened and the first potential signs of theory validation came through.

But you won't be seeing those until part 2 comes along! Yep, for now you will have to rest uneasy with the usual level of excited suspense you get around here. Please don't call the authorities. Check back soon for more...

It's arrived - go read part 2 now for the "thrilling" results.

For those of you with a less wordy more picturey state of mind, please note you can access these experimental images for easy comparison in a gallery.