Spitting is art

Conflicting messages emanate from the wonderous web at times. We hear from askmen.com that really it is somewhat less than gentlemanly to spit and should you do so in public you will "look like you were raised in a sewer". But then one presumed sewer-rat named Albert Reyes has turned spitting - nay, let us go so far as to say public spitting - into a literal artform.

He does do paintings and other slightly more traditional artforms too, but the chief party-trick is to grab a mouthful of tasty drink from somewhere and proceed to spit it out all over a nearby pavement. Not so different from your average teenage yob menace you may think, but, in addition to it never containing lumps of mysterious carrot, here it results in a piece of temporary but highly environmentally friendly street art - perhaps a big 10 foot face done in one straight continuous line. Neil Buchanan would be proud.

So how did he discover his wonderous talent. Well, in a feat almost as wonderous as that weird story about Isaac Newton working out the complexities of gravity via being hit on the head with an apple, it came when he spilt a drink on the pavement. Most of us would probably just be a bit annoyed that we wasted 2 pennies worth of sugar-filled liquid, but not our Albert. Rather, he was - to quote - "astonished". It was the spitting (haha) image of a chicken no less. Rather than move onwards and upwards to spotting clouds that look like horses and so on he thought "I can do that"...and sure enough he can.

Spilling things from his mouth to the ground has got him quite a reputation, although he does admit that from time to time people tend to think he's being sick. For any potential footstep-followers, you may be interested to hear that the best medium for spit-drawing is in fact white wine. Not only does it get you drunk enough to think it is a good idea to squat down between cars and spit on the ground in public, but according to the spitmeister himself "I can make a very fine line with white wine...It's like a sharpened pencil."

Should he become even more famous and world-tour-tastic he will have to watch out a little. It is apparently illegal to spit in, say, Singapore, punishable by big fines and jailtime.

You can go try be his friend at what the Poorhouse assumes actually is his myspace should you so wish. In the mean time, look below to see a salivating performance in action.

(Delightful accompanying picture stolen from the New York Academy Of Art - thanks)


Heaven help us if he

Heaven help us if he discovers the art of technicolour yawning!

Technicolour yawn

Afraid to say it seems like, even if he stays away from that particular temptation, someone did discover it!
Jubal Brown

Fired with the passion of youth, the artist (as a young man) decided it was time to put on a performance piece. Disgusted by the staid, stifling environment which is the modern art gallery, Mr. Brown chose to vomit on a number of paintings in different, world-reknowned, galleries to display his contempt for the "stale, obedient, lifeless crusts" which hung on the walls.


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