Stop Virgin (twice, slightly NSFW)

Now we live in a world where high-speed Internet access is almost as essential to modern rich-guy life as say water, net neutrality is a potential hot topic. Net neutrality refers to the historic practice of your ISP granting (kind of) equal access to the internet, no matter what you do with that access – subject to legality au naturelle. From Google's – who of course have a vested interest in this – guide:

Network neutrality is the principle that Internet users should be in control of what content they view and what applications they use on the Internet…the broadband carriers should not be permitted to use their market power to discriminate against competing applications or content.

Unsurprisingly, some broadband providers aren't quite so keen. Several have had accusations of secretly throttling e.g. peer-to-peer traffic, or imposing unwritten limits on their unlimited usage of some services, but one in particular seemed rather bold to spell out their views. Enter the Virgin Media CEO, Neil Berkett.

In an interview with the Royal Televisions Society's (who know there was one?) Television magazine he thoughtfully said the whole issue was "a load of bollocks". He was entirely unabashed to admit that his company was already in discussions with various companies about providing access to their content nice and quickly (for a fee) and leaving just a slow "bus lane" for everyone else's t'interwebs shenanigans. 

Cue protests from the less immensely rich Internet content providers, and the users who don't think the internet providers that they pay for service should arbitrarily restrict how they access it. One particular campaign is called "Don't stay Virgin", for the above-mentioned reasons.

However, when they say "STAND UP: You can make the difference" there may be an innuendo or two at play there. Tania Derveaux, a former candidate for the Belgian political party "NEE" is leading this campaign. Just to warn, that link is arguably NSFW, she perhaps being a little more famous for her porn-star ways, including a fetching senatorial campaign poster offering the creation of 40,000 (blow) jobs.  And she's back "using sex in a positive way" here too.

For everyone who "defends the internet", which based on the writers on her forum often seems to basically be mentioning net neutrality on someone else's forum, who is both over 18 years old and a virgin (in the sexual sense – after all, apparently "an unusual amount of today's Internet users are virgin") she will commit to "make love" to them. Yep, sex for awareness, it's an original sort of campaign to be sure. Enough people seem to believe her that they email in and provide evidence of their writings defending the internet freely enough. So, rail against Virgin, stop being a virgin. Very clever, very classy, the Poorhouse is sure.

Serious as the issue may be (net neutrality, rather than her, some might say slutty ways, – after all the only reason you have to be a virgin is because she fears otherwise so many people will apply that she won't have time to get the respective deeds done), her Terms of Service make entertaining reading for those of a childish Poorhousian sense of humour anyhow. Snippets follow:

Tania adheres to high standards of service but due to time limitations each performance can last no longer than 30 minutes, no exceptions will be made under any circumstance…

  • condom must be used, except if the applicant prefers to release his semen upon Tania's body without any oral or vaginal contact
  • Anal sex is negotiable, although Tania will cease the performance immediately if any form of 'surprise buttsex' occurs
  • applicant agrees that in the event of the applicant infringing upon Terms of Service during the process of the act, Tania is not responsible for any genital injury that the applicant may suffer
  • Tania may deny service for hygiene reasons
  • If you really want to try and make use of her "services", and yes, she even covers her own transport expenses, then go here and hit the lurid pink "get laid" button. Words fail me.



    very nice publicity stunt.

    I agree

    I agree with the comment above, its a sure publicity stunt.

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