Naked wizardry

Potter: So many puns, so little timePotter: So many puns, so little timeIt seems in recent days the Poorhouse has largely been a mess of immature and/or celebtrity-esque gossip rather than the intellectual and political tome that dear readers come to consult. To compensate for that, here's more of the same.

A certain young wizard known to millions throughout the world has decided to go for something of a temporary career change. Yes, cute baby teenager Harry Potter (aka Daniel Radcliffe to his non-magical friends) has decided to do a delightful play where, no doubt much to the delight of even his 14-year-old teen fans, he is going to strip completely and frolic in a none-too-innocent way with horses.

Sorry disbelivers, it's true. Equus is a play from the 1970s about a psychiatrist trying to sort out a young man who goes a bit weird and stabs the eyes out of a pile of horses who he thinks are watching him a bit too much. Not that he's averse to a bit of rather over-affectionate horse-gazing himself.

When you win it you lose it

A few days ago we saw an international reporter refer to British television as "mostly purvey[ing] low-grade pornographic entertainment, so-called 'reality' shows of stunning banality..." by which the Poorhouse assumes Big Brother in particular was meant. Every season, it seems to get less innovative, more tedious and as a last resort dwells on smut an extra little bit. That's not of course to say that the Poorhouse doesn't watch it. Who doesn't like watching insane people fight with each other?

Anyway, that might soon become the pinnacle of high-brow entertainment compared to a certain new "reality" gameshow being made in America called "Virgin Territory". Can you guess what it is yet? Clue: the name of it is in no way cryptic, and it's being produced by Kevin Blatt, the guy who sold Paris Hilton's "special" videotape.

What time is it?

Elite web surfers: the virtues of using the 'fox as opposed to Internet Explorer to surf away have been discussed many a time before - mainly to do with the many extensions you can add on to it to make it super useful. Yet to feature on the Poorhouse however is the number one essential reason to get it right now.

Two words: Stop and Hammertime.

Well, for far too long when that immense webpage full of a certain type of photographs has refused to download within the hour, you've had to reach for a dull red stop sign, X or other such tedious and predictable iconic representation of "stop" stuck at the top of your boring web browser. No longer!


Sadly, wheelchairs haven't quite reached mainstream cool just yet - the common image has been tarnished by mass-media broadcasts such as Little Britain rather than...well, whatever you cool kids are into these days. That didn't stop a certain shop in Sheffield, UK from usurping the infamous phrase "Don't you wish your [whatever] was hot like me?" for their store promotions. Is it wrong to find this hilarious?

The addition of the inconsistently-spelt "Don't cha" on the bottom right is just the perfect addition to sell sell sell their wares.

Treadmills can be fun

Only the least Internet-enabled peons amongst you will not be aware and have witnessed one of the latest virals circulated around the email and blogosphere. Namely the band OK Go's gymnasium extravaganza "Here it goes again". If you've missed out, regardez vous below.

Treat your mother right

Quick! Before YouTube removes all vaguely copyrighted material, now is the time to refresh your memory about how much Mr T loves his mummy.

Apologies if it causes shock to any readers who thought Mr T was just one bad-ass mofo without a shred of respect for societal convention.

Goats are even better

Me again!Me again!Yes readers, thanks to our latest addition, we now present to you the second part of this week's Goat news. Here, again, we see the level of dear love that the world has for these creatures, wholly unrealised by the Poorhouse until this point.

Let's start with drunkenness. Alcohol mixed with goats is a dangerous game. So found Carl Myles, age should-know-better 20 who got drunk. The alcohol inebriation exerted its typical symptoms of lowering his inhibitions. Oh dear.

Jolly Dee

The World Cup is about to start, and along with it the inane flag waving, enhanced xenophobia and dodgy music releases. The dodgiest is already with us. Million-times disgraced ex-Tory MP Neil Hamilton and his "personality" reality-TV-screaming-queen wife Christine have released a mind-numbingly poor World Cup video song "England Are Jolly Dee". Below, courtesy of youtube, is a 15 second flash clip. If you really, really, really want more, you have to pay for it.

Tiger Woods is a spastic

Tiger Woods apologised today for saying "on the green i was a spaz".

Perhaps we need to direct Mr Woods to the extraordinary dolls article so he can find a friend just like him?

He really shouldn't worry so much - I'm a complete spaz when i first get up and i'm sure we can all empathise....

The Times website has produced a list of previous gaffes made by sporting stars here although i am at a loss to justify what this has to do with poor tiger spazzing up his golf yesterday.

Can't get the pictures to work properly - fatal errors galore - so you shall have to imagine a very special person in your mind's eye i'm afraid.

Britney Spears naked!

Britney: Bare with bearBritney: Bare with bearBritney Spears, recent mother of Sean, has been seized as a Pro-Life (translation for non-Americans: pleasant way of saying anti-abortionists, because naturally those who favour a mother's right to choose are of course anti-life) icon of today's society. Rather graphically.

Yes, if you're in Brooklyn, New York in the next few weeks, why not head over to the Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery to take a slightly-sleazy ganders at a nude Britney in a celebration of pro-lifery squatting on all fours, and slightly bizarrely grabbing a decapitated bear's head (pro-life presumably only referring to human life).

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