art and graphics

Happy Easter

The Poorhouse would like to extend warm Easter wishes to all those who celebrate this festival whether with prayers or eggs. Having succintly failed to come up with anything Easter themed itself, the Poorhouse would like to direct you to Suki-Desu's Spectacular Easter Spectacular, which explores various scenarios that could have cropped up were Jesus to have not died up upon the cross. Using cutting edge research and visualisation tools (namely Windows Paint), many potential catastrophic events are illustrated in the finest of detail.

The Suki-Desu webmistress is also to be greatly thanked for her wonderful contributions to this very site.

Britney Spears naked!

Britney: Bare with bearBritney: Bare with bearBritney Spears, recent mother of Sean, has been seized as a Pro-Life (translation for non-Americans: pleasant way of saying anti-abortionists, because naturally those who favour a mother's right to choose are of course anti-life) icon of today's society. Rather graphically.

Yes, if you're in Brooklyn, New York in the next few weeks, why not head over to the Capla Kesting Fine Art gallery to take a slightly-sleazy ganders at a nude Britney in a celebration of pro-lifery squatting on all fours, and slightly bizarrely grabbing a decapitated bear's head (pro-life presumably only referring to human life).

Paint possibilities

Powerdraw: 500 hours of someone's lifePowerdraw: 500 hours of someone's lifePaint. The sheer straightforward simplicity of its name belies the incredible power of that program sitting in the Accessories bit of your Start menu (Microsoft Windows users only). You know, the one almost like Photoshop, but cheaper. The one part of Windows that never crashes. There's the Poorhouse thinking it was only useful for erm...."basic diagrams" such as a picture of a circle, an artist's impression of a square or an extremely bad version of your signature done in the style of a 1980s-computery spray can.

But no, the wonderful illustration accompanying this article was reputedly, believe it or not, done in Paint by the artist known as Diamonster. A tiny amount of creative accounting occurred via the use of a Photoshop blur effect at the end, but otherwise apparently it was pieced together pixel-by-pixel in MS Paint. To be fair it did take over five hundred hours. Time well spent. You can see a couple of the interim steps here and here.

JAlbum - static web photo album software that is actually good

JAlbum: Box, camera and screen not includedJAlbum: Box, camera and screen not includedIn these Net 2.0 days of flickr, Imageshack, Yahoo photos and so on, it might seem like it's never been easier to publish your home snaps. That's probably because it's true. However, easy doesn't always equal perfect. Sometimes you might want to have a web-traditional photo gallery on your own website, so you have full control over addresses, formatting, content, size and so on.

Feed the starving artist

Nice pearNice pearThe Poorhouse is as proud as 12 peacocks prancing to be associated with Tess' (web) portfolio. We would greatly appreciate it if any wealthy (UK) graphic design bosses would like to pay her a pile of money without supervising her work too closely. With both education and a history of employment on show, how could it possibly be the wrong thing to do? She may not speak her vowels quite correctly what with heralding from New Zealand - to be fair she can (mis)pronounce them in several languages - but then when was the last time a company went bust on that aspect alone?

The Poorhouse considers her CV far too self-modest with such talents as published Christmas card poetry going unsung. As a special bonus to entice you in there is a top quality flash game involving defending the earth somewhere on the site.

(Please note that any design deficiency on the site you are currently reading is in no way attributable to her.)

Hamshahri hijinks - making the world a more dangerous place

Tom and Jerry never went this farTom and Jerry never went this farEarlier this month, a Danish paper called Jyllands-Posten printed some cartoons depicting the Islamic prophet Muhammad in a number of "satirical" scenes, including some clearly showing him as a terrorist. Portrayal of Muhammed in this way is not only distasteful, insensitive and downright foolish given the current state of the world, but is regarded by many as direct contravention of the Islamic religion.

Since then pretty much everyone must be aware that there have been many, many protests, riots and worse throughout the world. This included an unacceptably offensive one here in Britain where a handful of protesters called for the beheading of unbelievers and a repeat terrorist attack on Britain amongst other niceties. Contrary to popularly-ignorant non-Islamic opinion though, this offensive protest was essentially tiny and apparently involved some extremist groups already outlawed by the Government. A larger, peaceful demonstration against both the publication of the cartoons and the violence they inspired has subsequently taken place in the UK. Unfortunately a relatively tiny minority of violent extremists through the world are still causing death and destruction over the cartoons; they must be immediately apprehended and removed from being a danger to society.

Beard artistry

Artist at workArtist at workWhat does true entrepreneurship look like? Well, here's an example.

German ex-rock-concert-promoter Marco Figgen, moved to Thailand in search of spiritual fulfilment only to "accidentally" lose all his money. Dazed, confused and possibly not (just like The Poorhouse) not au-fait with the Thai welfare system, he had the only possible logical thought in the situation. Whilst counting his blessings, he noticed her had a wholly-impracticable lengthy beard amongst his resources. The next obvious step was to invest in some paint (not oil based - turpentine doesn't help beard strength out at all) and become the world's only known beard artist. Cruelly described by the international news agencies as "hardly Van Gogh" he makes his living using his unusually lengthy facial hair to make these pictures priced at 8000 baht upwards and is currently exhibited at the JND Gallery in the Soi Day & Night in South Pattaya

Syndicate content