goods and services

Get extra money for what you already do

In these days of Internet capitalism there is nothing better for a greedy web-author than a surfeit of rich visitors being sent to your site to spend money on your things. As such, websites regularly advertise on each other in arrangement that if website A sends a visitor to website B, B will pay A a small amount of cash. This is lovely for website A, but not so good for you unless you own the website A. Unless you play the referrals game.

Now go and look at Quidco. Here, hundreds of referral links are set up for numerous different product types, ranging from electronics to books, holidays, games, gambling, insurance and much much more. Every time you go to the site through them and make a purchase (or in a couple of cases just visit), Quidco receives money from the site in question. The difference with Quidco is that they pay the money to you either by Paypal or BACS bank account transfer. How pleasant.

Even bigger bigger burger

It has been brought to the Poorhouse's attention that it is unfair to highlight such corporate evil-doers as McDonalds and Burger King as the only sellers of ridiculously death-inducing burgers (*). Let's take a look at the Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub.

A while back, they offered an immense 6lb burger, supplemented with a mere 5lbs of unspecified "toppings". It also comes with a three hour eating time-limit. This challenge was first conquered by "a 100-pound female college student". Yes, she ate a burger weighing more than a tenth of her entire body weight. Special prize? A certificate, t-shirt and $23.95 refund - which could naturally be put towards any forthcoming hospital bills.

Cheaper railway station food

What's the most expensive commodity in the world? Diamonds? Platinum? Illegal drugs? Erm no, it's probably railway station food. £10 a glass of water, £20 a Mars Bar, taking advantage of stranded and most often delayed passengers is a profitable enterprise.

Try to reclaim a tiny amount of your hard-earned cash without dying of starvation and dry-mouth with the Bite card. Flash it around Upper Crust, Millie's Cookies, Delice de France and all those other ridiculous pseudo-"European" food-shops for a 20% discount.

Buy your own allergy free cat

Cat: made for youCat: made for youCats are kind of nice, cuddly, friendly things most of the time, but many people suffer intentionless-harm from them. Somewhere around 2% of the population (in the US anyway) reportedly suffer from some sort of cat allergy. For anyone wanting non-Loreal style science, it is because cats have a protein allergen called Fel d 1 which appears like an evil air-borne monster via their sebaceous glands.

nRich someone else - part 2

Avid well-or-unwell wishers of the Poorhouse might be wondering what happened to part two of the Great nPower Outrage - the reception of an electricity bill from a company I never used for an amount of electricity I could never have possibly used - namely £8030.53. Those who know nothing of this but for some reason want to should catch up on part 1.

Even sillier sized burger

Just a few brief months after McDonalds released their entirely unnecessary but accurately named "Bigger Big Mac", it seems Burger King have raised the stakes even higher. About 3 times higher.

Yes, in a way similar to how Gillette now sell razors with 5 million blades on ("for added smoothness"), Burger King have brought out a 4-burger bun (for added lumpiness). Christened the "Stacker Quad", for now it's only available in America, but that's not to say it won't be with us in the UK soon. A close examination shows that it's not only the beefburgers that appear in excess.

Nutty warnings

Sure, the form of anaphylaxis known as nut allergy is a serious - potentially deadly - business, and sufferers need to know what is safe for them to eat. However, given almost every product in the known universe contains a nut warning it has already been alleged years ago that the effect of such warnings is weak and confusing.

The Poorhouse was therefore uber-jubilant to discover that manufacturers still haven't got round to redesigning their packaging, and there existed an ultra-ridiculous, even by conventional standards, nut warning on a pack of Tesco Healthy Living Natural Bio yoghurt. The product itself sounds pretty foul, but the nut warning was crazy enough to make it an object of pure hilarity.

nRich someone else

"They" do say that you should always be careful to check your bills and statements for mistakes; a rule even the Poorhouse tries to comply with when wakefulness permits.

This turned out to be just as well as a rather surprising missive came from Meterplus recently. Meterplus is another name for nPower, a company that supplies electricity and gas to consumers, both domestic and business. Their letter to the Poorhouse was rather stern.

A slightly-anonymity-censored version can be seen below. To quote, rather than the traditional method of sending some bills and waiting for them to be paid, the letters stated that "One of our agents called to disconnect your supply but was unable to gain access to your premises". Thank goodness the Poorhouse has door locks eh?

DIY phone fixing saves £180

A few days ago the Poorhouse's mobile phone broke. The phone is relatively new, a nice fancyish contract phone just 4-5 months old or so. The breakage seemed strange. Whilst certainly no stranger to doing rather silly things to phones, this seemed to be a spontaneous destruction one. First it wouldn't turn on at all. Later it would, but a strange permanent leafy-pattern was etched upon the screen meaning there was no way of seeing your way around navigating the phone.

Readers: please take the time to consider how likely it was that this particular fault was covered by the extended warranty.

$1 zaps

Electro-collarElectro-collarWhen it comes to peoples' get rich quick schemes, the web never fails to deliver some thoroughly...erm..."original" ideas. One of the more recent ones is allowing people to pay you for the privilege of viewing you electrocuting yourself.

The idea has a virtuous conscience motive behind it. "Shocktheman" aka Jason Mitchell got a dog a while ago and decided to control it with a remote electric shock collar. In case it's not obvious, the deal is that if your dog misbehaves you send them a varying amount of electro-shock via a collar permanently adhered to their neck. Lovely.

However, the man eventually discovered that it was somewhat more than mildly uncomfortable and now feels guilty. To absolve the pangs, as well as undergoing much shock-therapy-for-cash, he is donating 10% of the proceeds to Lansing's Animal Placement Bureau who try to find nice places to live for homeless dogs. The rest of the money goes towards his college fund.

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