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ZuPreem food

Still on the subject of crazy things to do to yourself, but this time without financial incentive, comes The Monkey Chow Diaries.

To quote: "Imagine going to the grocery store only once every 6 months. Imagine paying less than a dollar per meal. Imagine never washing dishes, chopping vegetables or setting the table ever again. It sounds pretty good, doesn't it?"

Yes it most certainly does, but doubts about the goodness may be raised if the reason that can happen is because you are only eating weird hard pellets that are normally reserved for monkeys in zoos. In a kind-of-reverse tribute to Morgan Spurlock, Adam Scott decided to ensure he only ate monkey food for a week to see if he lived, and, if so, what the effects would be.

$1 zaps

Electro-collarElectro-collarWhen it comes to peoples' get rich quick schemes, the web never fails to deliver some thoroughly...erm..."original" ideas. One of the more recent ones is allowing people to pay you for the privilege of viewing you electrocuting yourself.

The idea has a virtuous conscience motive behind it. "Shocktheman" aka Jason Mitchell got a dog a while ago and decided to control it with a remote electric shock collar. In case it's not obvious, the deal is that if your dog misbehaves you send them a varying amount of electro-shock via a collar permanently adhered to their neck. Lovely.

However, the man eventually discovered that it was somewhat more than mildly uncomfortable and now feels guilty. To absolve the pangs, as well as undergoing much shock-therapy-for-cash, he is donating 10% of the proceeds to Lansing's Animal Placement Bureau who try to find nice places to live for homeless dogs. The rest of the money goes towards his college fund.

Bush control

In the unenviable jobs of the 21st Century category, being George Bush's speechwriter is probably up there somewhere at the top of the pile. Now's your chance to try. Clicky through to bushSpeech and work your magic. In the scarily-insightful words of the creators: "make george w. bush say the things you always wanted him to say! you don't even need to be a multinational company!".

If doing (that and loading in other people's efforts) isn't quite doing it for you, get a more musical Bush-fix by hearing him sing the classic heartfelt song Sunday Bloody Sunday below.

Jolly Dee

The World Cup is about to start, and along with it the inane flag waving, enhanced xenophobia and dodgy music releases. The dodgiest is already with us. Million-times disgraced ex-Tory MP Neil Hamilton and his "personality" reality-TV-screaming-queen wife Christine have released a mind-numbingly poor World Cup video song "England Are Jolly Dee". Below, courtesy of youtube, is a 15 second flash clip. If you really, really, really want more, you have to pay for it.

Deal or No Deal - Microsoft Excel edition

Countdown beware; there's a newish favourite daytime gameshow in town to take the shallow attention of you non nine-to-fivers: Deal or No Deal. If nothing else, at least it keeps Noel Edmonds of the cruel streets of England.

In case you've been asleep for years (being in foreign parts is no excuse - there are at least 23 national versions of the show). The premise of the game is as follows: There are a number of boxes with varying amounts of money in, from 1p to £250,000. The contestant picks one box, and it is opened to reveal what it contained, hence giving the contestant the knowledge of what is left to play for. At some point in the game, a mysterious "banker" rings up and offers the contestant a specific amount of money if they will take it and leave.

BANG!

Example of recreational cleaner useExample of recreational cleaner useIt's a sad maxim of today that not every cleaning liquid inspires a cult. One such absconder from this rule of thumb is the fantastic - even if like the Poorhouse you've never used it - Reckitt Benckiser's Cillit Bang.

Why such a silly name? Well, because apparently upon application to LIMESCALE, RUST (strangely seemingly emenating from a rubber hose) or GROUND IN DIRT amongst other such filth-objects BANG and the DIRT IS GONE. Cillit…well, who knows, but it does sound slightly dirty.

Name aside, what really grabbed attention are the wonderful adverts, starring fictional character "Barry Scott". In more recent times he has joined up with his lovely friend Jill and together they have explored new ways to use Cillit Bang. The adverts were so appalling that it initially led many to question whether they were for a real product, but it turns out they were and moreover one you can probably get at your supermarket. But there's more...

The McFly Brown affair

Even time travellers have feelings. In an exclusive video-mentary by the delicious Chocolate Cake City, the real relationship between Marty McFly and his "friend" Doc Brown is revealed. In what almost seems a cross between Brokeback Mountain and Back to the Future even the hardest-hearted can feel their pain.

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